


Stucky Drabbles

by BbeGrl238



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forgive Me, Gas Station AU, Highschool AU, I love sappy shit, I'll update tags as I add more, M/M, Recovery, Smut, bar au, bubble bath is good for the soul, if you squint maybe, most other characters are mentioned in passing, parenting AU, post-serum Steve, pre-serum steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:20:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3726922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BbeGrl238/pseuds/BbeGrl238
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are ficlets/drabbles my anon and I post on tumblr. The asked part is their prompt and the answers are my ficlets. They get longer as you go through I promise! (The longer ones start at chapter 8) I'll update the tags as I add more. I have no beta so drop me a message if you notice any problems! Thanks <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Baby Girl AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Stucky domestic AU where they adopt a little baby girl and on their first night with her, steve holds her as she cries and she won't stop crying and buck tries to hold her just to see if she likes him but he's all hesitant bc of his arm but she's oddly comforted by it so he spends the whole night with her curled up against his chest, falling asleep on their bed, his still long hair falling gracefully over his face as their breathing slowed and matched.-Glorious

Sam walks out of the elevator onto the communal floor in the Stark tower headed towards the kitchen when he sees it. One of the last things he ever thought he would see. 

Bucky, asleep in the up right position on the couch with the new baby curled up in his metal arm. Sam is still standing there staring when Steve walks up.

“It’s the darndest thing, but she doesn’t sleep unless he’s holding her. We think she likes the humming from the arm.” 

Sam looks over just in time to see Steve with a soft little smile on his face before he shrugs and walks over to the couch. Steve reaches down and cards his fingers through Bucky’s hair speaking softly to him as Bucky turns his face into Steve’s caress. 

Before the arm and before the serum Bucky was always good with kids or so they say. Steve jokes that it was because they recognized Bucky as one of their own. Sam can see that now as both sleepy parties yawned and stretched before looking up at Steve with complete adoration on their faces. 

Sam decides to slip back out of the room as Steve leans down to kiss the sleepy toddler and former assassin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	2. Lazy Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Bucky not wanting to get out bed in the morning, tentacled around Steve until impossibly late hours. Steve has to pry himself out of his arms, extricating himself from his partner's legs, only to get a groan in response because "Steve it's only 10am it's early" and he just shakes his head and places a soft kiss on Bucky's forehead. He makes coffee because without it Buck would still be asleep and comes back to Buck, curled into the warm spot Steve left and complaining about the cold -Glorious

During the week was the worst. No matter how much he fights it, it always ends the same. Steve gets up with the sun and drags Bucky out of the warm bed only a few moments later. Bucky will sit through breakfast grumbling about super soldiers and needing sleep.

The weekends are another story all together. Some days, like today, Bucky can catch Steve by surprise and roll over. 

Laying atop Steve, Bucky nuzzles his throat kissing his way up Steve’s chin. Without opening his eyes, Steve shifts his hips with a happy hum.

“Morning Buck.”

Bucky pulls up with a grin and says “Mornin’ Stevie,” before leaning down and claiming Steve’s bottom lip between his teeth. The resulting moan only encourages Bucky to shift his hips and settle his knees on either side of Steve and grind down.

“B-Buck!” Steve gasps, surging up and deepening their kiss. They give as good as they get and are soon lost to the world around them. Only the sighs and moans and whispered praises matter. 

Sunrise…sunrise can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	3. Steve Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: How long did Steve cry after Bucky fell off the train? How many nights did Steve lose sleep, try as hard as he might to slip into unconsciousness, only to see Bucky falling, pleading, an image burned into his eyelids? How many times did he beg his team to go and search that ravine, and they'd shake their heads and put a hand in his shoulder, because they knew how much he meant to Steve? Even after being unfrozen all those years later, how many nights did Steve's thoughts wander to Bucky?-GA

The answer is, of course, he never stopped. 

Sleep wouldn’t come when he knew Bucky wouldn’t be there smirking in the morning. His eyes always burned with unshed tears, even 70 years later. Steve wanted nothing more than to go back and search that whole ravine from beginning to end no matter what Schmidt had planned. The Howling Commandos and Peggy tried to talk sense to him but Steve couldn’t hear it through Bucky’s scream echoing in his head. 

When he crashed the Valkyrie his last thoughts were about finally seeing Bucky again. 

Waking up in the 21st century, if anything, made it worse. Most of his friends (The Howlies, Peggy, the 107th, guys from the neighborhood back home) who knew Buck were gone, but the internet and history books immortalized him forever. 

Like clockwork almost every night Steve would wake up in a sweat reaching for someone who wasn’t there. His throat raw from screaming he couldn’t recall doing, he would stumble from bed and collapse at the computer. Some times, after re-reading one of the many articles on The Howling Commandos or staring at one of the few photos of Bucky for unknown amounts of time, Steve could fall back into a fitful sleep but most nights he lay awake trying not to hear that final scream. 

Later, after the bridge, when Bucky didn’t know who he was or who Steve was, Steve would wish for the sleepless nights, because at least then he knew. He knew what happened to Bucky, he knew where Bucky was, he knew that for better or worse Bucky was in a happier place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	4. Bucky sleeps everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Bucky falling asleep literally anywhere; at the table, on the couch, lounging on the stairs- Tony joked they might one day find him back in the closet. Steve would always find him, dozing peacefully, finally feeling safe enough to let his guard down long enough to sleep in various places and simply smile before picking him up in his arms and taking him to his bed and draping a blanket over him-GA

At this point no one is surprised when they come into the communal floor of the tower and see Bucky passed out in a strange place or position. The team has made a habit out of tucking a blanket around him and finding Steve to let him know. On his good days you might even find Natasha petting his hair or Clint with Bucky’s feet in his lap. Sam has been known to sit on the floor in front of Bucky and read, when asked why he shrugged and said he didn’t like waking up alone.

So on this particular day, when Steve got home from a mission to find Bucky curled up in an arm chair alone he doesn’t hesitate to card his fingers through Bucky’s hair and lean down to pick him up. You can imagine Steve’s surprise when, as he walks into the elevator, Bucky starts nuzzling his throat.

“Hiya Stevie,” Bucky hums.

Steve chuckles, “Hey Buck, how was your nap?”

“Hmmm, better now that your here.” Steve readjusts his hold on Bucky and leans down for a kiss to which Bucky responds enthusiastically. They break apart when the elevator signals their floor. Steve cradles Bucky close to his chest and takes him into their bedroom. Gently placing him down on the bed, Steve leans over to place a light kiss on his forehead, then his temple, and finally, unable to resist, he reclaims Bucky’s lips. They deepen the kiss and enjoy the feel of each other for a moment before Bucky pulls back and looks at Steve from under his lashes, nibbling his lip.

“Come to bed with me Steve?” 

Steve smiles and crawls into bed to cuddle Bucky close and whispers, “’Course Buck.” Placing one last kiss on the back of Bucky’s neck, Steve tightens his hold slightly in an imitation of a hug before dozing off. 

Bucky may feel safe enough to sleep almost anywhere in the tower but there is only one place he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	5. Bar au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Drunk at a bar au where Steve and Bucky meet up and have a really intense night and they part after quite the one night stand. A few days later, Bucky is called into his son's school for some obnoxious behavior and when he walks into the principals office he sees none other than Steve Rogers, the new principal Bucky hadn't gotten around to meeting before-GA

The thing is Bucky can’t stop thinking about that night. It was the first night in months he had a sitter and was able to go out and be just Bucky not Dad or Mr. Barnes. He never expected to go home with a random stranger. 

To be fair, Steve and Bucky hit it off almost immediately and after a few drinks going home with him had seemed liked a perfectly good idea. They’d been sending each other heated looks all night and the first kiss ignited a passion neither of them felt inclined to deny. 

Naturally, when Steve slipped off the stool and beckoned him to follow, Bucky was unable to do anything else. Bucky can’t remember much about the cab ride other than how amazing Steve’s mouth tastes and the moans he couldn’t keep in. As soon as Steve has his door open Bucky had him pinned against the wall, shutting the door with his foot. He can’t recall when the clothes came off but the feel of skin against skin is something he will never forget.

So imagine his surprise when, after getting a call to come to his son’s school, he walks into Principle Roger’s office only to see the gorgeous blond from the weekend before. Bucky freezes halfway into the room and Steve’s eyes widened almost comically. After an uncomfortably long silence Bucky clears his throat and offers his hand.

“So, ah M-Mr. Rogers, I was asked to come in? Something to do with Peter I guess?” The sound of someone else’s voice seems to do the trick and Steve launches into motion, taking Bucky’s offered hand and shaking it.

“Yes, Buc-uh, Mr. Barnes. I actually needed to speak to you about Peter’s file. It seems it hasn’t been updated in quite some time.” Bucky shifts his feet and finally shuffles across the room. Leaning against Steve’s desk to look at the file, he can’t help but notice how stiff Steve is sitting.

“Loosen up Stevie, you know I don’t bite.” He can hear the sharp gasp moments before Steve is closing the distance between them, kissing Bucky as if no time has passed. Hands tangle in Steve’s hair and Bucky can’t help the moan that slips out. 

He missed this. He needed this; the desire coursing through his veins and Steve’s hands gripping his hips. It may be difficult and it may break a few rules, but now that he had Steve back in his arms, he wasn’t going to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	6. Avengers Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Natasha teaching Bucky how to braid his long hair and put it in a bun. Tony teaching Bucky how to keep maintenance on his arm. Clint teaching Bucky how to enjoy the little things in life like stupid little games on his phone and the different kinds of coffee. Steve teaching Bucky how to love and trust again with small, tender kisses and slow, soft hugs and the simple joy of coming home to each other and waking up to a beautiful smile -GA

Sometimes Sam wonders if they would have been able to save Bucky at all if it weren’t for Steve. But then, sometimes Sam notices things. Like how Bucky suddenly started braiding his hair or when he wore it up in a proper bun Natasha would smile and him and he’d duck his head and flush. Or, when Steve was on a mission and Bucky got antsy, Tony took him down to the lab and taught him how to keep maintenance his arm. It’s rare now to see Bucky without one of Tony’s pocket screwdrivers tucked behind his ear. (Sam doesn’t know this, but Tony is planning on getting Bucky his own personal tool kit just for his arm.)

The most shocking, in Sam’s opinion, was the time he came into the communal living room and found Clint draped around Bucky in the arm chair teaching him how to play Angry Birds. Now, Barton and Bucky can usually be found comparing game scores over whatever new coffee Clint brought home on his missions. 

The times that make Sam wonder, however, are the times no distraction is enough to save Bucky from the nightmares. The worst is when Steve is away, with no one there to soothe him into wakefulness, Bucky has been known to stay in the gym for hours after jerking awake covered in sweat. Steve’s touch was avoided completely by Bucky in the beginning and now it seems like that is the only thing that can calm him down. Once Sam found Bucky curled up in the kitchen with the lights off and went to tell Steve. He stuck around just to make sure Barnes wasn’t having another episode only to witness Bucky completely crumbling into Steve. Holding on as great sobs shook the supersoldier, Steve brushed light kisses against his temple until he calmed. Sam watched as Steve cradled Bucky’s face and they whispered to each other before Steve leaned forward and place a gentle kiss against the former assassins lips. He left after that, giving the two their privacy while mentally making a note to clean the counters before he eats in there again.

The clincher though was the morning Stark decided to goad Barnes into admitting where he’d been sleeping. (Sam suspects he had intended on getting Bucky to admit to a relationship with Steve.) Tony was cut short however, when Steve came in the door after a particularly long mission, both men stood there staring at each other before Steve uttered one word. “Buck.” The most heart breaking smile, so full of happiness and love, broke across Barnes face before they came together in a fierce kiss. Sam cleared his throat and grabbed Tony by the arm steering him out of the room.

Sometimes Sam wonders and sometimes he knows, without Steve there is no Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	7. Bucky's nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Bucky dreaming of the red room, of all the torture he endured, of all the things he had to do. Flashes and instances of pain and cruelty hurled back at him. But now when he dreams there's a new twist; another man is in the chair. Bucky could never see his face but he knew who he was all the same by the angles of his body and the hue in his skin; Steve, before the serum, being strapped down and abused the way Bucky was. And that makes it all the worse-GA

The nightmares about the chair are usually the easier ones to handle. Waking up, he can remind himself there are no more chairs. He made sure of that. He can curl into Steve and breathe with him and calm himself down. 

Tonight though, tonight he wasn’t the one in the chair. In his dream Steve was strapped down, screaming and yelling for Bucky. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get to Steve. It was like being trapped behind an impenetrable wall. All he could do is listen to the screams; Bucky had never felt so helpless in his life. Even curling in on himself and holding his ears didn’t help dull the sound. He yelled until his throat bled, begging them to take him instead, use him instead. Anything to make them stop. It never stopped.

Bucky awoke with a gasp to Steve leaning over him with bloodshot eyes, frantically shaking his shoulders chanting a constant mantra. 

“Bucky! Buck it’s okay, wake up! Come back to me baby. Bucky come back! Wake up!” 

His relief at seeing Steve - serum and whole - was so profound Bucky choked on a sob before collapsing into Steve’s arms. He felt them curl around him immediately, felt them tighten in a hug before Steve released a deep, heaving breath. 

How was he going to explain his newest nightmare to Steve? How was he going to look him in the eye and tell him he couldn’t save him? He wasn’t that’s how. Bucky was going to lock this nightmare away and shove it into the pit with all the rest of the winter soldier’s memories. Telling Steve would only hurt him and he was tired of causing Steve pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	8. Gas Station au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Okay so get this Steve is a cashier at like a little gas station or somethin and Bucky comes in to like Rob the store an Steve is all Aw nah son then Bucky starts crying and cops come but Steve won't let them take Bucky an assaults a cop an they both get arrested then Steven boss bails them out an Bucky goes home with Steve then like TADA 10 years Later they are trying not to cry as their little adopted daughter goes to her first day of 1st grade -HW

Bucky stands back from the crowd of parents, watching Steve kiss Maggie one last time before turning to smile at Buck and he can’t help but thank his lucky stars for the way life turns out. 

How could he have known that deciding to hold up that particular gas station would change so much? He couldn’t go through with it after seeing the disappointed look on the gorgeous cashier’s face. Bucky even tried to apologize. Of course when the cops show up and try to arrest Bucky, he finds out the gorgeous blond’s name is Steve and an anonymous call tipped the cops off to a suspicious figure entering the Gas ‘N Sip a few minutes after Bucky showed up. Steve, for some unfathomable reason, decided to stand up for him, try to defend him. Bucky remembers watching Steve get in the officer’s faces like some avenging angel and argue that Bucky didn’t do anything wrong, didn’t actually hold up the store, “So officers, uncuff him, please, and let’s all get on with our nights. This isn’t necessary.” When the officers responded by laughing and turning to leave with Bucky, Steve shocked everyone by pulling his arm back and punching the officer leading Bucky out square in the jaw.

Both boys wound up in a holding cell after that. Bucky couldn’t believe it. “Why the hell wound you do that!? Why’d you go be stupid and punch a cop Steve!? What were you thinking!”

“It wasn’t right Buck. They shouldn’t have arrested you! You didn’t actually do anything wrong!”

“I tried to Steve, that’s all the matters!”

This argument went on for about two hours before Steve paused and asked Bucky why. “Why’d ya do it Bucky?” Even now Bucky can’t resist the look in those eyes. That look that pleads with you to have a good reason, a good enough reason so he can forgive you. Back then, Bucky didn’t stand a chance against Steve and that look. So he told Steve everything. How he got thrown out of his house at 17 because his dad found out he was gay. How his sister followed him onto the streets. How he has done everything in his power to make sure his sister has a warm, dry place to stay and something to eat every night. How he got desperate after being told by his landlord that if he didn’t pay up two weeks early, they were out on the streets. He didn’t want Steve’s pity, he didn’t want to see the look everyone gave him when he told them about Rebecca. When Steve still hadn’t said anything, Bucky chanced a look up and saw, not pity, but anger. Steve was pissed. “That’s not right Buck. Your dad shouldn’t have kicked you out like that. Love is love. That’s not right. Your landlord is a piece of shit, too. He takes advantage of a bunch of kids and then threatens their lively hood because he knows you don’t have anyone you can go to for help. He can’t do that Buck!” 

Steve fumed like that for the next few minutes until there is was a clanging noise as the cell door opened. The officer lead Steve’s boss, Nick Fury, to the cell. “Steve, let’s go. Don’t make a habit out of this.” But Steve shocks Bucky for the second time that night and pulled Bucky up with him, stood in front of Fury and told him no. Said he wouldn’t leave with out Bucky. Fury looked pissed, like he planed on just leaving Steve in jail until finally, Fury growled and turned to the officer said, “The kid too,” before turning and leaving through the same door he came in. Steve let out a breath and grabbed Bucky’s arm, pulling him out and passed the cops, until they reached open night air. Bucky cleared his throat and pulled his arm from Steve’s grasp. “Ah, thanks for that Stevie. I owe ya one!” He smiles with false cheer and turns to leave when Steve grabs his arm again. “Wait a sec Buck, what a-what are you gonna do with your living situation? Cause, uh, you could um. Well you and Becca could come stay with me? My place isn’t all that big, but it’s nice and warm and there is a pull-out couch…”

Bucky smiles as Steve slides an arm around his waist and kisses his cheek. “Heya Buck. Where’d your mind go? Maggie tried to wave but you didn’t see.”

Bucky smiles and sighs. “I was in the past Stevie. Just thinkin’ about how different things could’ve gone if you weren’t such a stubborn, stupid kid who decided to grab my arm and never let go.”

Steve laughs and smiles so bright he could rival the sun. “Aw Buck! If you weren’t such a punk and just accepted my help then maybe I could’ve let go of that arm every once in awhile!”

Bucky smiles and turns to kiss Steve, when just as their lips met, they heard a sweet child’s voice yell out, “Daddy!” Both men turn and crouch just in time to see little Maggie come running and launch herself at them, wrapping her arms around their necks. “Daddy you didn’t say goodbye!” Maggie kisses Bucky on the cheek before giggling and uncurling from her fathers’ hold and running to class.

Life can be crazy but sometimes the results make everything worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually prompted by a new anon who so far hasn't come back. I really liked their prompt though so if they see this maybe they will drop by again? ;)
> 
> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	9. Boys get the flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Steve was always so moody when he was sick. He was a mild mannered kid, only 85 pounds of kind hearted gentility but when he contracted an illness, he was bedridden for days. Mood swings and pouty looks were all Bucky got, but he never complained. In fact, he loved how cute Steve was with his rosy cheeks and pouty face, the way his voice cracked when he tried to sound intimidating. Of course, Bucky contracts the flu one time, and is forced to lay down with Steve, who adamantly refuses to cuddle, until his temperature changes reduce him to a shivering mess, and for almost a week, when Bucky’s body ran hot, Steve’s would run cold and vice versa. They spent the whole time casually spooning, only to fall asleep and wake up and find themselves wrapped up in the other’s limbs.-GA

When Steve got sick, which happened often, he usually ran hot for the first few days before he got so cold you had to layer him in blankets just to keep his feet from turning blue. So when Bucky gets sick taking care of Steve he can’t help but be happy that he’s running a fever. Convincing Steve to allow any form of affection is practically impossible, that is until he uses their flu as an excuse.

“Steve, come on. Move over pal. You’re freezing to death and I feel like I’m baking.” Bucky tries to pull the blankets up to slide in beside Steve only for Steve to slap them down again.

“No Buck! ‘M sick, can’t have you gettin-” Steve pauses, frowning at his lap before looking back up at Bucky with a little ‘Oh’ face. Bucky, sensing Steve’s weakness, starts pouting while swaying slightly. “Oh alright. But only because you’re sick too!” Steve pulls back the covers so Bucky can get in the bed next to him.

Bucky slides over to Steve’s side with a smile before tucking Steve into the curve of his body. “Gee thanks Stevie. I was burning up!” He can hear Steve mumble something that sounds like ‘ya still are’ but he doesn’t say anything else, just pulls Steve even closer and intertwines their legs. 

Bucky can feel Steve tense up just before he says, “’M not a dame Buck.” But he doesn’t try to move or pull his legs back. Just lays there stiff as a board until he starts shivering again. In response, Bucky pulls Steve even closer so they’re spooning and wraps his arms around Steve’s torso, nuzzling his hair. Steve sighs once before he relaxes and snuggles deeper into Bucky’s heated skin.

They wake up twice in the night. Once to Bucky’s sweat soaking the sheets, wherein Bucky calmly got them both changed into new shirts and boxers and swapped the sheets for dry ones, and once to Steve shivering because the blankets had slipped. Bucky got them both situated and made sure they both took their meds before fixing the covers and pulling Steve close again. He fell back asleep to Steve’s contended little sigh.

When Bucky wakes up miserable, sweaty, and curled around Steve with his face tucked into Steve’s hair, he can’t help but think getting sick was one of the best things that had ever happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	10. High School au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: High school AU: Bucky and Steve are friends for years until Steve gets a girlfriend, Peggy, and falls hopelessly in love with her. Bucky then realized he's got a huge crush on Steve, even though he's straight? Or so he thought. Months of one sided pining and deep emotional troubles for Bucky later, he accidentally confesses his feelings to Steve, and then Steve just kisses him and says "I knew I loved you. From the moment I met you."-glorious

When Steve burst through his bedroom door nine months ago vibrating with excitement, Bucky couldn’t help but grin back. He considers it a feat of strength that he managed to keep grinning the entire time Steve told him about Peggy. “She’s great Buck! You’ll love her, I can’t wait for you guys to meet! She said yes, can you believe it! A girlfriend, me, Steven Grant Rogers, skinny as can be with a height to match!” He sighed in happiness, flopping back on Bucky’s bed while Bucky felt sick. 

The thing is, Bucky loved Steve like a brother. Only wanted what was best for him! Besides he heard Peggy was a great gal. Smart, pretty, good at sports the whole nine yards. So if he felt sick about this then it’s only because he’s worried about Peggy breaking little Stevie’s heart right? Right?

Bucky spends the next six months watching them moon over each other and lock lips for 30 minutes everyday at lunch with his heart stuck in his throat before he realizes his problem. Bucky Barnes is jealous. He’s not just jealous, he’s jealous of _Peggy_. It hits him like a brick to the face and he can’t breathe. He’s in love with his best friend. He can’t be, he just can’t- he can’t want Steve like that. He can’t think of how Steve has bulked up and finally hit his growth spurt. He can’t think about how Steve is taller than him now but his collar bones and hip bones still jut out in the same way as they did before. He can’t think about all those summers they spent in each other’s beds talking into all hours of the night. He can’t think about watching the sun slowly slip over Steve’s golden hair or the way it would caress his face, throwing his eyelashes into deep shadows. He just can’t.

So at the end of the semester, when he’s offered a part time job at Stark Enterprises after school with Tony and his dad and a schedule that puts him in all of the AP mathematics and computer tech classes, he takes it. He may even sign up for archery classes with Clint and Natasha, so what? Part of him realizes he’s running from his feelings by avoiding Steve but he doesn’t care. If seeing Bucky for only 30 minutes a day at lunch and then another five on the walk home bothers Steve, he never says anything. He does start talking to Bucky during lunch though, enough so that Peggy invites her cousin Sharon to sit with them so she has someone to talk to. Still, Bucky can’t believe he’s so involved in his own world, trying to get over his ridiculous unrequited feelings for Steve, that he doesn’t notice when there is suddenly a different seating arrangement at their lunch table. 

He glances up from his assigned reading one day to see Nat looking like she’s waiting for an answer to a question he’s obviously missed. Bucky looks around the table for help only to see Peggy and Steve are sitting three people apart and on opposite sides of the table. Steve is deep in conversation with Sam who is sitting across from him while Peggy is busy talking to Sharon and Pepper further  
down. He shoots Nat and Clint a confused look only to get a frustrated grunt and eye roll in return. When the lunch bell rings and everyone goes to leave Bucky rushes to catch up to Natasha. 

“When did that happen!?” He whispers it fiercely in her ear before ducking under her arm to stop in front of her. Natasha stops with a huff and puts her hands on her hips. “Really James, could you be more oblivious? About a month ago, right at the eight month mark, Peggy broke up with Steve because, and I quote, ‘You are clearly more interested in someone else.’” Nat does the air quotes and with a small smirk on her ruby lips. “Honestly, it was amicable and everything so if you’re going to defend your friends honor, _if_ that’s what you are anymore, no need to worry.” 

Bucky was frowning at her previous words but stopped walking all together at that. “What do you mean if that’s what we are? What else would we be? And eight month mark for what?” When Natasha only sighs and slips around him, patting him on the shoulder, he is even more confused. He yells out her name just before she turns down the hallway to her class, “Natasha! Come on!” 

“Honestly James,” She pauses and turns around with a slightly evil smirk, “That’s something you should ask Rogers.” Before he can come up with another response she is gone. 

It takes Bucky all week and at least 20 awful conversations with himself before he finally gets up the nerve to talk to Steve. He waits until the weekend when he knows Steve will still be at work before he goes over to his house. Mrs. Rogers let’s Bucky saying, “James Buchanan, it has been too long! Steve is still at work dear, but you can wait for him upstairs if you like?” He just nods and heads for Steve’s room, wondering if it’s changed in the three months since he’s been here. _Three months, has it really been that long?_ Bucky looks around with a sigh, noticing the slight differences here and there. Overall Steve’s room is the same except for one major thing. Before his photo board had practically been all him and Peggy but now it’s covered in pictures of Bucky. He’s never looking at the camera, rather doesn’t even look like he knows the pictures are being taken. 

Bucky hears someone clear their throat and turns around to see Steve watching him. He grins sheepishly, “Those ah-those were for a photography assignment. I hope you don’t mind.” 

And _oh_ , Steve’s been taking pictures of him for months and _keeping_ them. Bucky starts to say something, what he’s not sure, but he can’t get the words to form. _Sorry Steve_ , say sorry! Tell him you avoided him because you couldn’t admit to your feelings! “Nah, I don’t mind. Didn’t even realize you’d taken them,” is what comes out instead. 

Steve gives him a look and says, “Yeah? Might have somethin’ to do with the fact that you’ve been avoiding me Buck.” 

Bucky just about breaks. In fact he does break. Well at least the seal on his mouth does and blurts everything out. All of it, how he felt horrible because he didn’t like Peggy and Steve together and then he figured out he was jealous. How it hurt to see them together and happy but he didn’t begrudge them their happiness, _he didn’t_ , so he started his job at Stark’s and his extra classes hoping for these feelings to fade and, “I love you Stevie, I’m sorry! I really am! I shouldn’t have pulled away from you like that and made you feel bad and oh!” Bucky pauses as he has an epiphany and continues in a quieter voice. “Am I the reason you guys broke up? You were too distracted trying to figure me out? Oh god,” he holds his head in his hands, “ _that’s_ what Nat meant by eight month mark isn’t it!? Eight months since I started acting weird and pulling away. God Steve I am _so sorry_.” 

Steve has been silent through Bucky’s whole outburst and he waits until Bucky looks back up to clear his throat. “Well, Buck, these past few months could have been very different if you had just spoken up.” Steve slowly starts walking into his room, shutting his door behind him, and keeps going until he has Bucky backed up against the picture board and his wall.  
Bucky watches him with confusion. “Wha-” Bucky cuts off with a strangled noise when Steve’s lips crash into his. They’re kissing. Steve is kissing him! Bucky pulls away and looks into Steve’s eyes, “Steve?” 

Steve, staring right back still close enough that his breath is ghosting across Bucky’s lips, asks, “Yeah Buck?” 

Bucky doesn’t respond, he doesn’t have an answer. He stares at Steve looking for, and finding, something before crushing his mouth to Steve’s. His hands come up to cross behind Steve’s head as Steve’s hands slide up his sides, catching on his shirt a bit, to cradle Bucky’s face. They kiss like this, learning what each other likes, lips moving and tongues intertwining for what feels like hours but must be only minutes. 

Still cradling Bucky’s face in his hands, Steve pulls back long enough to whisper, “I knew I loved you. From the moment I met you.” He claims Bucky’s lips again in a searing kiss that takes his breath away and Bucky can’t help but think he never needs to breathe again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


	11. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky being really insecure after he's found, and the whole team is fully aware. Steve takes it on himself to help Bucky regain his self-confidence. They go shopping and buy him soft clothes and fragrant lotions; Steve leaves little sticky notes all around Bucky's room telling him to have a great day, or scrawled across it is a cheesy joke, perhaps a quick sketch; Bucky lets Steve draw him, like he used to, instead it's now on fine paper with smoother lines; Bucky smiling and feeling loved-GA

James Buchanan Barnes had a hard time coming back to himself after everything HYDRA put him through. Some days he still didn’t feel like a person. Some days he could ground himself in a familiar touch or smell. On his good days Bucky woke up and felt human. It was a new normal but a good normal, all things considered.

He can remember the first time Steve took him shopping because, “Buck, while I think you look great in my old sweats, wouldn’t you prefer to have something of your own?” In all honesty, when Steve had asked that he couldn’t care less. He was more Winter Soldier than Bucky Barnes at the time and having his own clothes wasn’t something he usually worried about. When they got to the actual shopping part Bucky was clueless. Steve asked him all sorts of question like did he like cotton, what cut of jeans did he prefer, or if he wanted short sleeve or long sleeve shirts, “Ya know,” he gestures to Bucky’s left side, “to cover your arm?” Bucky remembers shrugging and letting Steve add both types of shirts to the growing pile in his arms. Now he has more clothes than he has closet space.

Clint and Natasha showed him the wonders of at home relaxation techniques. When Clint came waltzing onto Steve’s floor one morning and threw a basket of lightly scented lotions on the couch before plopping down next to him, Bucky threw him a quizzical look. 

Clint shrugged, “After Loki I had to find different ways to remind myself that it was my body. That I was in control. Turns out, putting lotion on at least once a day...well it helps. Reminds you that it’s your body, you’re in control.” He cleared his throat and shrugged again, looking anywhere but at Bucky. “Look I just thought it would help you too, okay?” 

When Clint rises from the couch intending to leave, Bucky grabbed his wrist. “Wait! Uh, th-thank you. For, um, for this.” He waves his hand in the general direction of the basket. “Just...thanks.” Clint nods and gives him a barley-there smile as he leaves. 

Nat shows up a few hours later with two giant containers of bubble bath and bath salts and places them on the coffee table before standing in front of Bucky, blocking the tv. When Bucky glances up with a scowl, ready to growl at her to move, Natasha smiles a self depreciating smile and says, “Look James. I know what it feels like to not be able to get comfortable in your own skin. Everything feels too soft or rubs you just plain wrong. Bubble baths will become your new best friend if you let them.” She holds up her hands in a halting gesture. “Try it once. No harm, no fowl. And remember it’s salts first, bubbles last.” Natasha pivots on her heels and heads to the elevator. 

Two days later Bucky finds Nat in the kitchen and says, “Nat, I um, I wanted to say thanks for....” 

She simply smiles and says, “I know and your welcome,” before patting his shoulder and walking away.

When the sticky notes started he was almost certain it was one of Sam’s positivity building exercises. He would wake up and find a sticky note on his dresser mirror saying **You have choices** or **You are a person** , and another note on his door saying **It’s okay to have bad days**. On his way to the bathroom he finds two more notes saying **You matter** and **You are loved**. He finds Steve in the kitchen with a stack of sticky notes and a pen. Bucky fights a smile at the way he immediately tries to hide what he was doing, as if Bucky can’t figure it out. He never does say anything to Steve, just goes about his business getting breakfast like normal. Bucky will never admit, not even to himself, how much the sticky notes actually help on his bad mornings. The little reminders that he’s human when he doesn't feel like it.

Bucky Barnes wakes up one day almost a year to the day after the bridge and he can’t help but smile. He has the love of his best friend and the best group of friends a former internationally wanted assassin could ask for. He has a job that let’s him travel the world and he saves lives whenever he can. He is not a weapon. Bucky Barnes wakes up almost a year after the bridge and is happy for the first time since 1945.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I left out the part about Steve drawing Bucky because it was kicking my ass and I really wanted to get this posted. Hope you guys like it!
> 
> Come say hi to me on [ tumblr](http://yeahishipitbitch.tumblr.com/) :)


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